Dii Deinmaar
by Cicerosgirl
Summary: The Dragonborn is pulled into the hellish world of the Dark Brotherhood as the Jesters play thing.
1. The beginning

I hope you like my new admission, this is something I love to do and I hope you love it too!

Disclaimer: i do not own skyrim only the OC character that is portrayed here. enjoy and R&R!

* * *

"Fuck you dragon!" with one last thrust her sword went through the bottom of the dragon's skull and out the top making an awful cracking sound. She pulled the sword from its jaw, within seconds the dragon's massive head toppled down on to her, pinning her leg to the ground

"Ah son of a-" laughter filled the air.

"Ha ha! Front row to a marvelous fight!" looking back no one was there, not even footsteps in the dirt.

"Oh oh oh looking for me?" she quickly turned to find a jester perched on top of the dragon skull just as it burst into a smoldering flame startling the man. The dragon's soul coursed through her veins, the immense power made her skin burn with exhilaration for more.

"Hmm maybe I should leave you here you seem fine on your own." She started to laugh as he stood before her, his curiosity spread across his face.

"You have no idea who I am do you?"

"Is Cicero supposed to?"

"I am the Dragonborn! Defender of Skyrim, defeater of Alduin the world eater and savior of the weak." His face contorted into laughter as he fell back against the dragon skull.

"If Dragonborn is so mighty why was he taken down by a dead dragon?" she reached for his foot, pulling him close enough to reach for his throat but that proved to be a mistake. His Ebony dagger pressed against her exposed neck. He clicked his tongue at pressing the dagger in harder. Feel the warm of blood drip down her neck

"Dragonborn better learn his place before Cicero." He looked down as she tried to adjust herself. In an instant he had his heel dug into her crushed leg. Screams echoed through the forest.

"Cicero likes the sound of that!" he applied more force with every jab he made at the pinned leg.

"Please for the love of Sithis… please stop." Her voice broke character, not being able to keep up anymore the pain was too much. Her head filled with ringing as the Jester slowly pulled her helmet off.

"Ah so the Dragonborn is not a "he" but a pretty she." His giggling lulled her into unconsciousness.

* * *

 ** _Wake up child, wake up for Mother_**

Her eyes fluttered open, a searing pain pulsing through her head.

"Ah the fair maiden is awake now. Good to see you're still alive." Her eyes tracked down the voice finding a small child coming in through a doorway. Eyes a beautiful bright yellow, her skin as white as porcelain.

"You are a very strange looking one. I have never seen a white elf before."

"Kaver vara jer?"

"You must be an outsider to Skyrim. Hold on I have to go get someone." My chin dropped down to my chest, the steady beat of my heart quickened as I could hear the same laughter that got me here.

"She's an odd looking creature." My eyes fell upon an older read guard. His fingers clasped around my chin drawing my eyes to lock with his.

"Fiba'i vethiit yava jer tena izra di ahziss."

"That's not very nice, she called me a dirty Redguard."

"Nazir what is she speaking?" the strange child drew closer, her eyes piercing through the Dragonborn.

"She's speaking Ta'agra. The language of Eslweyr, very complicated language to learn. So tell me _Dragonborn_ how is it a mighty dragon took you down?" the strange child finally smiled flashing her fangs slightly before hiding them again.

"Why does it matter to you? I was minding my own business when this _fool_ happened upon me."

"Oh ho if it wasn't for sweet Cicero you would probably be dead!" his cackle echoed through the room.

"Do you know who we are girl?" the redguard man stepped up now, his face never changing its serious position. A smirk streaked her face as she eyed him down.

"Of course I do… The all scary Dark Brotherhood. Followers of the Dread Lord Sithis and Night Mother." The Jester started to clap his hands and prancing around his companions.

"Oh, oh, ho! The pretty Dragonborn knows who we are! Wont mother be so happy!" The Dragonborn spat at him.

"Wafiit. The Night Mother is just some old dried up body that no one cares about anymore." She spat at the Jester, his face turning red with anger. A hand raked across her face by surprise.

"Don't you dare talk about the Night Mother that way. Cicero she's all yours." Both the Redguard and child left the room. The Jester danced around with a murderous grin spread across his face.

"Cicero is going to have fun with this one. Let us see… oh ! How about Skyforge steal? Nice and sharp for easy stabbing!" pain surged through her side as he slide the blade across her skin.

"Is the pretty Dragonborn going to take back what she said about our dear sweet mother?" the tip of the dagger now rested below her chin, lifting her head up just enough for him to see her brilliant purple eyes. His breath caught in his throat amazed by the stupendous color that went ever so greatly with her skin. Cicero ran the tip of the dagger down the length of her throat to the middle of her chest pressing lightly into her skin. She maintained eye contact with him as her blood trickled down the dagger. He finally broke the stare when blood started to drench his gloved hand.

"Cicero sees that you are quite rebellious. Cicero can be just as heartless." His hands swiftly moved about her, she realized that he was stripping the rest of her armor. Throwing every piece to the ground before her. She noticed him crouch down for her boots knowing this was a chance to harm him. She kicked out, connecting with his face he flew back hitting the ground with a horrible thud. A smirk grew across her face as she watched his blood start to drip from his face, but her own satisfaction dissipated from her face. His jester hat hid his eyes but not the ever growing wicked smile that seemed to stretch his whole face. Looking up she could see chaos and murder fill his eyes, he slowly pushed himself up. He reached for his face feeling the blood that ran from his forehead and nose.

"Lucky Dragonborn, no one ever hits Cicero!" he moved faster than her eyes could keep up with.

"Now Cicero will show you how heartless he can be." His breath was hot to her ear sending shivers through her body.

He placed his hand on her face gripping the edges of her face tightly. He forced his hand back slamming her head back against the cold stone wall, knocking her unconscious once again.


	2. I'm Sorry

**Chapter 2: Almost Sorry**

She awoke to lying in front of a metal sarcophagus. Her eyes flicked across it carefully taking in all the details, her nose caught the aroma of nightshade and lavender. A sweet melodic voice came from the inside.

"Wh..whos there?" she couldn't help herself from quivering at the sound.

 ** _Come to me my child. Embrace your mother…_**

The pale woman stood up carefully making her way to silver casket. Placing her fingers in between the edges, she pride it open. What stood before her is something she would have never believed, a beautiful dark elf stood before her. The eyes of the woman in front of her brought her to her knees as their gazes locked into a battle of emotions.

 ** _You have disappointed me Krosis. Why would you do this?_**

Her eyes widened in awe, this strange woman knew her name; no one ever knew her name. The tight feeling of air trapped in her throat, she desperately wanted to answer this woman. She mocked this woman in spite of the Jester, her skin bristled at the thought of punishment.

 ** _It is okay my little one, you will talk when you want to. For now suffer, for you have not gained my affection…_**

With a faint wave of her hand over the dragonborns face she was back to the black abyss of nothing again. As she floated through the nothing a sharp shriek came from somewhere in the distance. Like any sane person she followed the sound hearing it get louder and louder before the light broke through.

Her eyes fluttered open to see the Jester feet prancing back and forth singing to himself. The pain came flooding back. Her head started to pound as she tried to look up from the ground, dried blood cracked against her skin as she turned her head side to side. The pain in her shoulders screamed in protest as she tried to rotate them; her muscles stiff.

"Is the pretty Dragonborn finally awake, Cicero has been at this for almost four days now. Do you give up yet?" his sing-song voice rang in her ears.

"Poor Cicero had a hell of a time with you, hmm with your shouting nonsense! So Cicero fixed it." Krosis looked back down her eyes resting on the pool of dried blood at her feet. Her eyes widened in horror at the amount that gathered at her feet.

"The Throat is a _very_ messy place to cut, hehe- but don't worry my pretty Dragonborn Cicero made sure you didn't bleed too much. Well not before you died at least." His laugh was playful but terrifying, he stepped into view of her tilting her head up with a finger.

"My, my, such a mess you made, but don't worry Cicero made sure that the cut wouldn't leave a mark. Thanks to the un-child at least." She could feel the dagger pressed against her throat once more. Cicero spliced the dagger across her throat again, blood splattering on the wall. With every move he made slashes all over her, gorging out part of her stomach. Her screams were muffled by the leather mouth piece strapped to her face. _When did that get there?_

Burning tears built up in her eyes that she could no longer hold back.

"Can the Dragonborn feel her life slipping away? Un-child! Cicero needs you once more!" Krosis could feel her body start to give out, her legs protested against her. A violent shattering sound pierced her eyes. Both her wrist snapped under her weight, breathing became harder as blood started to fill her lungs. The warm liquid filled her leather mask, she tried screaming but her cries for pain were subdued by a hand against her mask.

"Shh be still Dragonborn. Shes coming." As the black started to take a hold of her the sound of chains clashing against the wall kept her from slipping away. Her face connected with the floor and an apathetic 'oops' came from Cicero.

"Get her on her back quickly before she dies this time." A surge of energy swept over her body. The un-child stood above her as she casted the healing spell.

"Cicero you need to reset her wrists so I can heal them." Within seconds he had them snapped back into place, her fingers desperately trying to grab at something to hold on to. The feeling of skin mending back together forcing out an inaudible cry. The Jester knelt down next to her taking her face in both his hands as they locked eyes.

"This can all stop if the sweet Dragonborn just apologizes to mother." His face going dark as his voice was harsh. All she could do was nod, not just for her the sake of the Jester but for the pain to just go away. Out of all the years of training to be the mighty Dragonborn has she never felt this much pain. The mask finally came off, her blood dripping on to her face as he held it there.

"What was that? Cicero can't hear you!" the wicked grin spread across his face once more.

"Z… Zu'u krosis… I'm sorry." Sleep over took her sending her back to the black void.


	3. The Awakening

**A/N: Hey sorry for such a long chapter but i wanted you to know her back story... there is some 'smut" but nothing terrible. please Review I'd love to know my readers thoughts!**

 **Chapter 3: The Awakening**

 **4E 172**

 _The sands are warm against my feet, sweat soaked every inch of my body as the sun beat down at our backs. The woman next to me gripped my hand harder as she noticed a caravan a heard of us._

 _"Auri-El please be a khajiit caravan this time!" her arms encircled around me as she hoisted me against her chest and started running. I could hear the thumping of her heart, pounding as heart as mine._

 _"Help we need water!" the woman collapsed to her knees just before one of the strange catlike people. The stranger stared down at us with disgust; he looked over his shoulder to shout to another member. Accent thick he spoke in an unfamiliar language, another member appeared before us older then the first. His eyes studied us trying to justify if we are worth helping._

 _"What are the pale ones doing this far south?" the shock on the woman's face put a smirk across the old ones lips, they curled back showing dull canines._

 _"Dro'Miqa can tell you have not met many who speak the way of the snowy ones." He stepped closer to us extending a hand out to her, she stared at him than his hand and back. With a nod of assurance she grabbed it._

 _"Come Dro'Miqa will help you and the small one water." He led us to a large well, he handed her and I a cup signaling for us to drink from the well. The woman dove for the water lapping every bit of it as fast as she could. I stared into the water watching my reflection as the woman drank next to me._

 _"Come on, drink up my child you'll need it to keep you alive." I looked up at the old cat, his eyes were as bright as the sun, his smile warm as the sands._

 _"Tonight the pale ones can stay with the caravan and tomorrow you could come with Dro'Miqa and his people to the next city." The woman crawled to him on her knees she bowed to him thanking him over and over. Two more of the tribe helped us into a tent letting us settle in for the soon to be nightfall._

 _The next morning I woke to someone screaming. I shot up from my bed roll looking around to find the woman wasn't next to me. The scream echoed through the air again._

 _"Dro'Miqa will not be taken for a fool. Give back what you stole or suffer consequences!" I peered out of the tent to see her being held down by two younger members, Dro'Miqa standing over her._

 _"Let me go! I didn't steal anything!" she struggled under the two, Dro'Miqa dipped his summoning someone to search her. Within seconds they pulled golden necklaces and rings from her pocket._

 _"The pale one lied to Dro'Miqa, after my people took you in this is how you repay us?" he snapped his fingers at the two to pick her up out of the sand. He pulled out a dagger from his sleeve he placed it against her neck looking her in the eye._

 _"I'll trade you the child! Please she's not even mine, I'll give you her if you let me live. She's valuable, she belongs to a princess! In your neck city you can sell her!" The old leader pulled away, looking back at me. His eyes holding my fate in them, he finally looked at her and bowed his head. They released her letting her go. She thanked him again running off past him, but before she could break through the barrier of tents Dro'Miqa threw the dagger with precision. As fast as the dagger pierced her skull she fell to the sands. Blood pooled around her turning the sand an awful crimson color, he looked back at me as two men pulled me from the tent._

 _"Dro'Miqa wants to know if what the old pale one says is true?" his gaze met mine, his eyes colder than before._

 _"My mother… she died a long time ago… we were escaping from somewhere. Don't remember," I looked over at the dead woman trying to remember what she exactly was. "I think she was our house maiden. She took me away when mother died…"_

 _"How old is the young pale one?" Dro'Miqa looked down at me his eyes a little softer this time as I tried desperately to remember my own age._

 _"4E 5." My head surged with pain after I spoke of my birth year, an image of my mother appeared before me, she was smiling. She pulled a piece of paper from her chest and placed it in my pocket, I was swept up before her by the woman that was dead, my mother waved at me before everything was dark and I came back. My eyes shot open as I reached for my pocket, the rolled up paper was there. I handed to Dro'Miqa to read._

 _"How is this even_ possible? _The young pale one is over a hundred years old but yet you appear as a child…" he looked back at the note reading carefully again._

 _"Snow elf." He read allowed in a sudden realization of exactly what I was. The next few years flew by as I traveled with the caravan, being shown off to anyone who would want to look at the last known Snow elf._

 ** _4E 188 22_** ** _nd_** ** _of Second Seed_**

 _The last stop Imperial City. It has been sixteen years since I joined the caravan, learning the ways of the Khajiit and the Ta'agra language. I may be almost a hundred and ninety but I looked more like the normal Imperial teenager, and having this type of cursed aging Dro'Miqa became aware of the possibilities I held for more gold coin._

 _"Owaz Alimer is the pale ones name. She is still pure, never been touched by anyone." I hated that name, 'snow altmer' like it wasn't obvious enough of what I was. The woman stood before me, circling around me looking me up and down; feeling my hair she smiled._

 _"She will definitely be a money maker here Sir Dro'Miqa. How much?" anger pulsed through my veins as I realized he was selling me to brothel._

 _"Half of whatever the young Owaz makes a week till it is time for us to leave… and Dro'Miqa and his caravan will be here for… awhile." His chuckle sent shivers down my spine, my fists clenched so tight my nails almost pierced through my palm._

 _"You've got yourself a deal Dro'Miqa. Come this way young_ Owaz _." She put emphasis on my name pulling me past the thresh hold of my now new home. Looking back Dro'Miqa bowed his head, I watched a smirk spread across his face before the door closed me off to the outside world. I was instantly stripped and bathed instantly, a scantily clad dress was draped over me. I glanced at the mirror next to me the dress revealed my curves that I hadn't realized I even had._

 _"I don't need you stinking up the place with that horrid wet-cat smell. Now Owaz my name is Lady Vindria Vonich or you can call me Lady Vivi, you work for me now. So whatever you make I take and give you maybe ten percent of it… just depending how," she rolled her eyes around trying to think of what to say._

 _"Compliant?" the word rolled off my tongue just as she looked at me._

 _"Yes, precisely. Now I'll have the girls show you to the room you will be staying and 'hosting' in later." I watched her leave the room, leaving me with all the more experienced woman._

 _"Come this way girl. If you stick with what we tell you, you'll do just fine." The woman surrounded me, told me the do's and don'ts of the brothel._

 ** _4E 30_** ** _th_** ** _of Suns Height_**

 _I've only been here a couple months and every man that walks in looks over me. They have no interest bedding an elf. I sat in the presenting room while men came and gone, taking every other woman to the back. Screams of pleasure and moans of passion echoed through the halls of this disgusting place. I was reading a book on the Dark Brotherhood when a gasp forced me to look up. A young man about seventeen walked in shrouded by a cloak. Lady Vivi bowed in front of him a worried smile spliced her face, the man removed his cloak revealing red and black armor. All the girls began to make their way to their rooms leaving me the only one to be presented._

 _"Looks like she is your only option I am terribly sorry sir." My eyes were back in my book, when a gloved hand pulled it out of my grip._

 _"Dark Brotherhood huh?" my eyes scaled his armor, his wears represented the Dark Brotherhood themselves._

 _"If you want I can grab one of my more seasoned ladies. This one has yet to be… touched by anyone." A smirk appeared at the corner of his mouth as he closed the book and present me with his hand._

 _"I'll take her. My lady would you be willing to show me to your room?" I rested my hand on his, he bowed and kissed the top of my hand. His red hair swaying to the side of his face. I lead him back to my room closing the door behind him. We both stood by the bed in awkward silence, before I could do anything he sat down and sprawled on the bed._

 _"Awe yes this is nice. Maybe I'll join this place so I can have such a nice bed." He chortled to himself. I was taken aback by the fact he ignored me just to lie on a bed._

 _"I don't want to take you. Well at least not yet…" he reached out and grabbed me by the arm pulling to be at his side. My heart was racing, I was lying next a cold-blooded murderer._

 _"So… How many people have you killed? I know you're with the Brotherhood." In an instant he was on top of me pinning my arms above my head with one hand and his other gently stroking the side of my face._

 _"If I told you that, I would have to kill you my pretty…?"_

 _"Owaz…" he slowly nodded his head, he repeated my name a couple times before lightly kissing my cheek and letting me go._

 _"Well Lady Owaz… I'll be seeing you tomorrow and many more. If you'll allow me to?" my eyes searched his, they were a stunning golden color that held my fate here at the brothel. All I could do is nod in acceptance and watch him make his way out of my room. Time seemed to freeze I couldn't breathe until I heard Lady Vivi scream. She can into my room holding a giant coin bag._

 _"That man just paid for you and you only for next month and then some… how and what did you do?" the other girls were in there now checking one me, asking if he hurt me or forced himself in areas he shouldn't be. A single wave of my hand disbanded all of their accusations._

 _"I didn't do anything. We both just sat here, I asked him a question and then he left." The next few months were just him. He paid upfront a month at a time for me, only to lie next to me on my bed and talk about things in his life and experiences that he's had. The Dark Brotherhood never came up in any of our discussions. Since word got around that I was partaken by a Brotherhood member no man came near me, all of them were too afraid I'd call upon them to smite those who wronged me and I was completely fine with that._

 ** _29_** ** _th_** ** _of Morning Star, 4E 189_**

 _It had been six months since this man came to me for my presence. That night was different, as I slept I could feel someone watching me. Turning I came face to face with him standing at the edge of my bed._

 _"Sir what are you doing here? Does Lady Viv-" I was cut off by lips pressed against mine. He was undoing his armor, placing it all on the ground. He pulled an ebony dagger from its sheath trailing it up the length of my nightgown, it fell to my side exposing my naked body. His right hand snaked through my hair as his other cupped my breast gently playing with my nipple. His member pressed up against my now slick folds. He pulled his lips away from mine he traced his eyes down my body stopping just at my waist. He looked back to me for permission._

 _"Yes…" it was barely audible even for myself but his precise hearing caught it. He slowly entered, keeping his eyes locked with mine. I dug my nails into his shoulders as he pressed further in, the pain only lasted a few seconds as he rocked back and forth inside me. His pace quickening, our breathing became one as time went on. He kissed up and down my neck sending shivers through my body; he enjoyed watching me quiver under him. His grip tightened in my hair as we both came closer to the sweet release. He stopped just before his release, his hand made its way down to my sex._

 _"Ladies first." His voice hushed against my ear. His fingers played around entering my soaked folds. I could feel it the sweet release rushed over me, my body shuddered under him as he continued to play with me. Again and again the waves of pleasure overcame me till he was back inside. He towered above me, his hand laced around my throat just as my legs wrapped around his waist. His movements were faster and harder with each thrust. His grasp around my throat tightened as he neared._

 _"Owaz… ow… ahh…" was the only sound he could make as sweet pleasure overcame him. He let go of my neck, I sucked in hard as the cold night air pierced my lungs. He was lying on top of me now, his breathing slowly going back to normal._

 _"Owaz… I have to tell you something…" he pushed off of me sitting on the edge of the bed he hung his head, letting his elbows rest on his knees. I pulled myself up to his side, I wrapped my arm around his neck._

 _"I've been promoted to something great in the Brotherhood. Which means I will no longer be able to visit you…" his eyes met mine and I could see the sorrow that danced in them. His face was solemn and regret stricken. His lips met mine one more time before he slipped his armor back on, his body was the perfect amount of muscle; sweat still glistened off his chest. I could feel the tears burn at the edge of my eyes, but I forced them back._

 _"Before you go my sweet, please tell me your name…" my voice became quiet at the end I was only able to mouth please to him. A sad smile spread across his face as he cupped my face in his hands._

 _"If I told you. I would have to kill you." He placed one last kiss on my forehead, he turned for the door slipping his cloak around his neck._

 _"Please! I'll never tell a soul!" I asked, no begged him to tell me what his name was. I was now standing naked at the edge of the bed, he grabbed the handle to the door without looking over his shoulder he whispered-_

 _"Cicero." He left me devoid of all feelings. I sat back down and curled onto the bed crying till sleep over took me._

 _The next few months were torture, I dismissed any and all attention. Till one day something snapped in me and an unrecognizable voice came out of me. A drunk man tried to force his way into my room and I yelled, the power of my voice shot the man down the hallway. Dro'Miqa was summoned to take me away from the Imperial City to cold north of Skyrim._

 _"_ _Here we are Owaz, the grey beards will help the young altmer with her new found glory." At that moment a man in a long dark grey robe came out and gestured for me to enter the sanctuary. I followed the man in through the door and again I looked back to see Dro'Miqa this time with a sad expression on his old face. He bowed his head as the door closed, my life now consisted of immense training to be the legendary Dragonborn something everyone in skyrim thought to only be a story book tale to tell the children before bed._


	4. Somewhere I belong

**A/N:** hey everyone! sorry for being so late... but i decided that i would change it to more of a first person perspective.. i hope you like this chapter! read and review please!

 **Chapter 4: Somewhere I belong**

Months had passed since Cicero finally released me from the torture room, Nazir performed the Black Hand. All of them stated it was the only way I'd be allowed outside of the sanctuary since they couldn't trust me enough not to turn on them.

Dawnstars air was invigorating I gasped at the sudden chill in my chest as I watched the ocean waves lap against the shore. The Black Door opened up for the jester to make his way out to greet me.

"Ah now why isn't the pretty Dragonborn donning her all powerful set of armor?" he now stood next to me, his towering nature forced me to look up at him.

"Well the contract is in Solitude correct? If I walk in there wearing that… we'll be executed right on sight." I looked down at myself, the Dark Brotherhood armor fit me beautifully even if it wasn't something I was used to.

"Well let me tell you Cicero knows a thing or two about… Solitude…" his face went solemn, rolling my eyes I started to walk towards the town when the annoying jester danced to get in front of me.

"Where does the Dragonborn thing she's going?" he stomped his foot to the soft ground pouting slightly. I stifled my breath before I exhaled in his face, the steam not changing his expression.

"Well Solitude is this way so I guess I'm walking there?" he scoffed at me pulling me back around the opposite side of the sanctuary where a stallion stood before us.

"Shadowmere will take us there." His smiled spread across his face as he mounted the horse, he lent me a hand to help. I stared at his gloved hand for a few seconds before he shook it at me impatient on my impending decision. Lifting me up he placed me behind him forcing me to have to hold on to him.

"Why couldn't we just take a carriage there? Wouldn't it be easier?"

"Easier? Well yes, but Shadowmere is the fastest horse in all of Skyrim." And with that we took off, his hooves glided through the snow like it was nothing. The cold air stung my face even with a cowl covering half of it. By the time we hit clearer road it felt as if the horse was even faster, Cicero whipped the reins and Shadowmere nickered before lowering his head. Cicero let out a long overdue laugh as he leaned forward. I closed my eyes, I felt as if the air would freeze them if I kept them open.

Shadowmere slowed down to a mere trot, I could feel Cicero straighten up a bit.

"Dragonborn we're here." My hand shot forward covering Cicero's mouth making him jerk Shadowmere back.

"Shhh! If anyone hears you we're dead!" with a quick flick of his wrist Cicero threw me to the ground. The breath was knocked out of my lungs as I glared up at him. He jeered at me from high on his horse, pulling the reins for Shadowmere to stop beside my head. Leaning down with a somber face his eyes glaring down at me.

"Such disrespect for her Master!" pulling Shadowmere into the tree line he came out dagger in hand. Hand laced around my throat as he held the dagger to my chest.

"What did Cicero tell you when he told you the rules?" I scratched at his hands struggling to breathe, amusement danced across his face as he watched me thrash. He dropped me to his feet, I rubbed my throat feeling the bruise that would appear soon.

"I'm sorry Master, I didn't mean to over step my boundaries…" I stood with a bowed head not wanting to meet his amber gaze.

"Then why must you shush Cicero?" a gloved fingers grasped my chin to face him, his eyes now duller then before.

"Well since you must know… remember when Victoria Vici was supposed to be married here?" Cicero nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"I was there that day… and a dragon attacked. Being Dragonborn everyone looked to me. While I was defending Solitude that dragon landed on top of where she was at…" I sighed, remembering that day brought back memories I wanted to forget.

"I casted one last spell at it and when to dragon died it killed her and her husband. Someone saw Dark Brotherhood people leave the city and the Jarl thought I was in on it. So I ran." I pushed passed him towards the gates of Solitude.

"Master if we are going to do this we better do it now and fast. I want to get back home before sunrise…"cloaked by the shadows we slipped up a set of stairs to a home just after the gates.

"Now be quick my pretty _Dragonborn_." Sharp tone rang on the last word as he pushed me through a window. The kill was quick and silent, before I turned to leave I cut a coin purse of the person and slipped back out the window. A hand swept across my face as I turned the corner of the steps. Cicero stretched his hand out in front of him signaling for me to give him what I took.

"Tsk, tsk, didn't Cicero tell you not to steal from any clients. You have no right as an Initiative." A rage started to bubble up inside me, handing the coin bag over I shoved passed him heading back out of the gate. As I reached Shadowmere I saw Cicero mount him. _How the fuck did he get there so fast?_ I clicked my tongue and started walking towards home.

"Where are you going Initiative?" he pulled the dark horse up next to me as I walked down the path towards the river.

"I'm walking home and you can't stop me!" I started running towards the Solitude docks, just as I reached the stairs Cicero jumped in front of me knocking me back to the ground. _How did he move so fast without me hearing him?_

"A Dark Brotherhood Initiative should always listen to her superior, never to go against them!" in a flash my body was flipped, my face smashed into the dirt below as he started to tie my hands. I struggled against him but the more I moved the tighter the bounds got.

"There that should keep the pretty Dragonborn from escaping next time!" with a chuckle he whistled for the dark horse to come. He lifted me onto the horses back end, jumping on himself after. The ride was long and wetter than expected. Every chance he had we went through deep water.

"You know this is very inhumane! I could drown or freeze to death." I yelled, trying to look up at him. From the corner of my eye I could see a smirk at the edge of his mouth.

"Now why would dear Cicero care if you died?" we were in the marshes of Morthal now, the water murky with mud I could see a little bit of my reflection. My face was covered in dirt, my beautiful white hair no longer neatly braded but disarrayed. Shadowmere stopped and I was shoved to the dirt face first. Cicero giggling at the mishap he grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feel.

"Why are we in Morthal?" spitting dirt out of my mouth as I asked. He turned back to the horse and grabbed our cloaks; he tossed mine over my shoulders and lead me to the Moorside Inn without a word. The warmth of the Inn was a great relief as he continued to the counter where the Inn keeper stood.

"I need a room my fair maiden." The older woman blushed at the complement.

"Most certainly, ten gold please." He placed the gold in the woman's hand, she showed us to the room to the right of the counter.

"If there is _anything_ you need just let me know." He kissed the back of her hand and proceeded to watch her leave.

"...when I next meet, that fair maid Nelly, I'll plunge my knife into her belly..." he whispered, turning to me with a smirk on his face.

"So I've heard you say that a lot… who is this 'fair maid nelly' and why do you have such a fascination for her?" his smirk grew wider as he sat in the chair by the table.

"Oh she was a lovely contract that Cicero got to do before he became the Keeper of the Night Mother. Nelly was a very beautiful woman… Cicero couldn't resist killing her and sending such a pretty face to the Void." I sat on the edge of the bed peering down at my feet; mud caked every bit of me.

"Can you untie me… please?" With a sigh he stomped towards me a look of frustration on his face. He lifted my chin with his forefinger, his eyes were a bright amber that seemed to tear through my very soul. His stare was long and hard as he scaled over every inch of my face.

"As long as the pretty Initiative stays put?" his words but a mere whisper to me, nodding he untied the rope with ease.

"So… there is no door… I guess we don't get any privacy." Laying back the bed creaked with every movement.

"I remember my very first bed… that thing was probably the most comfortable thing ever." Sitting back down in the chair he gave a curious look at me.

"If you would get to know me you would know this stuff by now. Now wouldn't you?" before he could say anything I turned away from him pulling the blanket and furs over my head. _Better than that damned cold sanctuary._ My eyes finally took to the sleep that loomed in them all day.

I woke to a quill scribbling on paper, the annoying sound scratched in my ears. I peered over the furs to see Cicero sitting at the table writing.

"How long have I been asleep for?" he continued not looking up from the journal he was writing in.

"Well from the sounds of the birds outside… The pretty Dragonborn has been asleep all night." He paused to re-dip his quill.

"Have you been awake this entire time?" he finally looked at me, dark circles were prominent under his eyes. He stood from the chair and stretched letting a yawn escape his lips. He made his way to the edge of the bed.

"Humph, why is the pretty Dragonborn so worried about poor Cicero anyways?" I could feel heat rise to the surface of my cheeks and Cicero noticed.

"Oh, oh how kind of the sweet little Dragonborn to care for Cicero!" flinging his arms around me he pulled me in for the tightest hug.

"Get the hell off of me you freak!" I tried fighting my way out of his grasp but it seemed the harder I fought the tighter his grip got.

"Cicero can show you what type of freak he can really be if interested?" his breath was hot on my ear making me blush even harder. His arms released me from the treacherous death hug; I got out of bed as quickly as I could and made my way to the center of the inn. I thanked the Inn keeper and found myself now running to the door; the cold air hit my face with a stinging sensation.

I wondered towards Shadowmere, the great horse nickered as I neared him. Its red eyes were stunning in the morning sunlight.

"You there! You're the one they call Dragonborn?" I found myself face to face with two strangely dressed men. Fear started to rise inside of me, I slowly reached for my swords.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" I prepared myself for the worst as they drew their swords.

"Your lies fall on deaf ears, Deceiver! We know you are the False Dragonborn! You shall not stand in the way of the true Dragonborn's return. He comes soon, and we shall offer him your heart! When Lord Miraak appears all shall bear witness. None shall stand to oppose him!" one lunged forward heaving his sword above his head only to clash with mine. He pushed closer to me, trying to overpower my small stance. I slammed my forehead against his staggering him backwards. Before he could react a dagger slid across his throat.

"Cicero can see you were in need of assistance Initiative." I ignored his banter to search the two now dead men. I found a small note on one of them.

 _Aboard the vessel Northern Maiden docked at Raven Rock. Take it to Windhelm, then begin your search. Kill the False Dragonborn known as Krosis Od'Dinok before she reaches Solstheim._

 _Return with word of your success, and Miraak shall be most pleased._

I could almost feel my heart stop at that moment. I quickly stuffed the note into my pocket before Cicero saw it, turning I could see the curious look on his face.

"What is going on?" he folded his arms across his chest tapping one jester toed boot.

"Nothing. These guys are just crazy assholes." I chuckled dryly, starting forward when a gloved hand pressed against my chest.

"Cicero knows when the pretty Dragonborn lies…" I couldn't make eye contact with him at that moment, instead I stared down at the dirt shifting my boot around.

"It's nothing really, I promise." I pushed his hand away and started walking towards Dawnstar. Cicero rode Shadowmere as I walked next to him. The tension between us was thick enough a blade could cut through it. Cicero stopped the dark horse, jumped down to stand before me.

"If you don't tell Cicero what that note says, then I'll take it from you." For an instant I thought he was joking I laughed out loud. With an irritated sigh he moved forward fast, his boot hit my back before I could react; both my arms were now pinned behind me. He dug around in my satchel, pulling out the crumpled piece of paper.

"Ah ha!" he held me down as he scanned his eyes over the letter. His face went somber as he lowered it.

"Cicero thinks that the Dragonborn has more explaining to do…" he released me from his grasp. Lending a hand he helped me up from the dirt.

"Where do you want me to begin?" his expression said everything.

"I know we are close to Dawnstar but would you like to make camp for the evening?" he nodded in agreement and we both started setting up camp. The sun swiftly set as I got the fire started, the Caravan fire could be seen in the distance but still far enough for us to be alone.

"I was born 4E 5, not sure exactly of the day but I do know that much… I was found and brought in by a Khajiit by the name of Dro'Miqa, he was my guardian pretty much. I was in the Imperial City before I found my way into Skyrim." He kept his face from being seen; hidden in the shadow of his jester hat.

"So are you a vampire?" He kept his head down, he sounded completely different now, almost normal.

"No… I am a Snow Elf or what the people of Skyrim call Falmer. We can live for a very long time… It's funny to think that my old name is no longer used since my meeting with the Greybeards." I could feel his eyes penetrate into me from the shadows.

"What was the Dragonborns old name?" he unfolded his arms and rested his palms against his knees.

"Owaz Alimer. It's what Dro'Miqa thought would suit me… even though I found out through the language I should have been named owazmer which roughly translate to 'Snow Elf'." Cicero's fingers slowly curled into tight fists. I could see his chest rise and fall faster as his breath became rigid. He stood up swiftly and started walking towards Dawnstar.

"Hey! Where are you going Cicero?" I jumped up after him; I grabbed a hold of one of his gloved hands. He turned on his heels to pull me into a tight embrace, his face buried into my neck.

"Leave here. The Dragonborn is needed elsewhere." The faint whisper flowed from his lips; he turned away, leaving me in the cold night air to wonder.

 ** _He knows Krosis…_**

The ghostly voice rang through my head sending a surge of static through my brain. I fell to my knees clutching my head.

 ** _Why don't you remember? Or do you not wish to remember that many years ago?_**

With that I strode over to Shadowmere. Clasping the reins in my hands I jumped onto his back, tapping my heels against his sides; the dark horse took off running into the night.

"I don't understand what you mean… please tell me!" the static was gone now, no longer plaguing my mind. The ride seemed like it took an eternity, Windhelm Bridge was now in the distant horizon. The smell of salt filled the air the closer I got. I left Shadowmere at the stables and made my way towards the docks, the air was thick with the smell of fish and salt. The Northern Maiden was now before me, its crew working hard at getting it prepared for the day.

"Excuse me I need a passage to Solstheim. I have the coin." The captain agreed on two hundred gold. The ship pushed off just after sunrise. I looked back as I said good bye to Skyrim and everything I knew as I made my way to the new land.

"Excuse me milady but I think you dropped this." A young sailor handed me what appeared to be a small journal. I thanked him and traced my fingers over the cover, my old name was mysteriously engraved into it. I inhaled deeply before opening it to the first page.

 ** _4E 30_** ** _th_** ** _of Suns Height_**

 _Today marks the first day of my visitor and I find him rather… intriguing._


	5. Cicero's Memories

**Chapter 5: Cicero's Memories**

The memories scorched through his mind with every little detail coming into a clear view. Krosis continued to talk about her past as though they were sweet nothings. His eyes hid in the shadows but he watched her, gracefully gesturing with every element of her being. Cicero placed his hands on his knees as he asked her of her past name.

 _Owaz_

Those nights of pure enlightenment coursed through his mind, glimpses of her body flashed before him. Her white as snow hair flowed across her pillow; the feeling of her skin against his how magnificent it felt. He stood instantly turning towards Dawnstar he started to move away from her but a hand lashed out for his. Without thinking he pulled her into him, smelling every bit of her as they stood there in the cold night air.

He told her to leave only for it to come out as a mere whisper on his lips. He pushed away from her heading towards the sanctuary; he looked back one last time to see her mounting Shadowmere. The stinging sensation of tears threatening to spill across his face, he fought them back as he entered through the secret entrance. As he entered the doorway Nazir, Babette and two other initiatives stood before him.

"Ah, Keeper you're back. Where is Krosis?" sadness quickly turned to anger as he pushed passed the two.

"Gone." It was the only thing he could get out of his now dry throat. He stormed down the stone hallway as fast as he could, pausing at the entrance of his chambers. He glared at her armor that was strewn across the chest at the foot of his bed; continuing into the room he slammed the door baring it shut. He strode to the chest picking the armor up; rage started to seep under his skin. Throwing the armor across the room he screamed. He turned to face the table, with one leap off the ledge he grabbed a chair smashing against the wall. Gripping the table, he flipped it sending it across the room. Next came the book shelves, mannequin and candle holders. His heart beat rapidly in his chest, darkness now surrounding him bringing memories back of Cheydinhal. Pressing his back against the wall he slid down, squeezing his knees to his chest the tears now flowing down his face.

"Cicero is sorry my sweet, sweet Krosis…" a pounding came at the door as Cicero sulked on the floor.

"Keeper? Cicero! What's going on in there are you okay?" Babette's voice was a high picked scream her tiny fists still pounding the door.

"Go away… Poor Cicero doesn't want… want..." his sobs overtook him by storm leaving him breathless and fatigued after a while of being on the floor, picking himself up he walked to the bed to lie down. A soothing voice played through his head as he let sleep take hold of him and lull him into a somber sleep.

" _Cicero help!" the melodic voice of Krisis rang through air. Blindly running through the dark he called out for her in desperation, in the distance he could see what looked like a small flickering light. The closer he came, the light grew bigger. The smell of something burning filled the air around him making him run faster, his heart pounding in his chest about to burst when he came upon the light source. A massive bonfire and in the middle a person was tied to a post._

 _Krosis_

 _Krosis looked up at Cicero her face half gone, her scream of agony echoed through him._

" _Why couldn't you have saved me Cicero?" her screech became a gurgle as blood pooled out of her mouth. All Cicero could do was watch in horror as his listener and first love melted away to the hungry flames. Cicero collapsed to the ground, tears flowing down his face. Everything went black again. The sound of her screams came again this time closer than before; Cicero picked himself up and ran for her screaming her name. He came to the fire only to see her in the same state as before. Once again everything went black again and her screamed echoed out sound him._

" _What type of torture is this?!" he pounded his fist to the ground. This time he ran for her, as he got to her he jumped on to the platform the post was on trying desperately to untie her. The ropes became animate and slinked themselves around Cicero bidding him to the post with her. He could feel the flames lap against him, their screams tangled together to make a choir of agony. He closed his eyes accepting his fate when he felt the coldness of the ground seep through him. He opened his eyes to see nothing but black again._

" _What the hell is long on?!" laughter came from behind him. He quickly stood to be face to face with a woman. She was wearing a long flowing mage robe with a beautiful staff in her hand._

" _I am Vaermina, Daedric Prince of dreams and… Nightmares." Her cackle resonated through Cicero. With a snap of her fingers the burning corps of Krosis appeared in front of Cicero, her gasp for breath sent a shudder through him. Krosis reached a hang out to him, instinctively he went for her hand only to watch it melt away back into the ground. Her entire body became dust and with what Cicero could only describe was a swift breeze she was gone._

" _What did you do with Cicero's sweet Krosis!" with a wave of her staff, she went him flying back into his back knocking the breath out of him._

" _You dare try to attack Vaermina?! She charged at Cicero. He shrieked with terror, the daedric prince stopped in front of him her hood hiding her face. A small chuckle came from the black abyss, she quickly pulled he hood back revealing the most terrifying disfigured face Cicero had ever seen._

" _Boo."_

Cicero shot up from his bed, cold sweat pouring off his face and body; his breathing haggard. The room was pitch black which only made his beating heart beat faster. He stood up and quickly ran for the door, he unbarred the door and ran for the Night Mother, the only person that he knew could comfort him in his time of need. He collapsed to his knees in front of his savior.

"Dear sweet Night Mother… Poor Cicero cannot sleep, nightmares of… of… oh damnit Cicero cannot remember!" Cicero started to smack his clenched fists against the side of his head trying to remember everything that happened. All he could remember was screaming and the burning smell of flesh everything else was a blur.

"Cicero? What are you doing?" the unchild's voice came from behind him. Turning his head slightly he stared at the tiny vampire with tired eyes.

"Cicero is sorry if he woke the unchild up from her slumber." She slowly walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder as he sat there staring up at the glorious sarcophagus before him.

"You know… you've been out for almost a day right?" his eyes widened a little bit, peering back up at her he placed his hand on hers.

"Cicero is sorry if he has worried you…" He stood slowly, looking back again at the unchild and started for the door. As he exited the sanctuary the cold brisk air nipping at his face, the smell of the ocean salt filled his nostrils. The water was a dark grey fading out to black nothingness in the distance.

"Cicero will wait here for you lovely Krosis. even if spiders eat my face off!" He sat down on the cold ground watching the waves crash against the bank. The sun started to rise brightening the sea making it look more inviting than threatening. The black door opened to a concerned looking Nazir came out, he was holding a fur blanket in his hands.

"I thought you would be out here. Babette said you were acting more strange than usual." he made his way and sat down with Cicero handing him the fur. They both sat there in the quiet of the morning watching the sun rise.

"I know we don't really seem to get along sometimes but… how are you holding up with Krosis being gone?" Cicero let out a long exaggerated sigh. Looking at Nazir his once usual happy face was clouded by sorrow.

"Cicero is doing just… terrible. Owa- Krosis will be back soon enough." Nazir grunted in response, getting up he headed back for the door.

"Thank you." a small whisper came from Cicero, he continued to watch the sea not acknowledging the redguards 'welcome'. Day slowly became night, Cicero's eyes became heavy with sleep, he stood stretching his arms up he wrapped the fur around him tightly. He walked back to the black door taking a deep, sorrowful breath before stepping inside.

The next few weeks Cicero would travel to the tavern to wait for the courier to show up and with every encounter brought more and more disappointment and sorrow to the crazed jester.

"Cicero is getting so tired of waiting! So, very, tired." he dragged his gloved hands down his face making the skin stretch out. Babette watched him, giggling at the funny face he was making from it. Cicero could hear the unchild's laughter and turned towards her.

"And what is so funny unchild?"

"You know I have a name right? and for your information I was laughing at the ridiculous face you were making. Stupid jester." she stuck her nose in the air and walked away from the table. Cicero watched her walk up the stairs towards her alchemy table; rolling his eyes he crossed his arms in a huff.

"Maybe Cicero will go back to th-"

"Cicero! I have a letter for you. I'm assuming it is from Krosis but I could be wrong." Nazir handed him the folded parchment paper, there was a ruby colored wax seal on it with a strange symbol that looked like an unearthly looking tree growing out of a spiral.

 _To whom this may concern,_

 _I am terribly sorry to inform the receiver of this letter that the brave Krosis Od'Dinok is no longer. The black books have summoned her into their world and sadly she has not come back, so I have feared only the worst._

 _-Neloth Telvanni_

Cicero's hands started to shake as he finished reading the letter, tears threatened to run down his face but he was able to hold them back. Nazir took the letter from him scanning over it quickly. His mouth dropped in disbelief at what he had just read.

"No, this can't be. How can a book take someone away?" Babette finally took the letter from him, reading it out loud for everyone to hear. Her eyes widened when she read _black books_. She quickly handed the letter back to Cicero and ran off towards her room leaving everyone confused about what she was doing. Finally coming back with a book in her hand, she skimmed through it landing on a page.

"I knew I had read about the black books somewhere. Back in the old day there was a man named Miraak who was taken under the Daedra lord Hermaeus Mora. His realm Apocrypha, is where those books can… take you." her grim expression sent Cicero into a frenzy of sobs and outbursts. He ran towards the front door, leaving in a haste. The murderous rage started to boil in him as he ran off towards the wilderness. Coming back to the sanctuary Cicero quietly entered the secret passage.

Cicero slithered back into the room and quietly closed the door behind him. He sat down at the table; propping his head up with his arm on the table. Looking over he saw the message sitting there.

"Oh sweet Krosis… Cicero knew he shouldn't have let you go." a light knock came at the door as it opened up to one of the initiatives stepped in with a wash bin full of warm water.

"I saw you entered the Sanctuary and thought you might need this. I just warmed it up so be careful when putting your hands in it; I wouldn't want you to burn yourself." the initiative bowed slightly turned on his heel and left the room, leaving Cicero alone again. He sighed deeply as he pulled the basin over to him; he dipped the rag into the water all while staring at his reflection.

"Poor Cicero, look how sad you look." he quickly wiped himself down before removing all his clothing and crawling into bed.

"Maybe Mother can bring you back, oh sweet Mother can you please bring back sweet Krosis." drifting to sleep, Cicero's dreams overcame him.

 _Darkness surrounded him again, everything felt eerily similar to Cicero. He could see a light in the distance, walking towards it he could hear a voice calling him. Instantly Cicero recognized where he was at._

" _No! not again!" Running to the light he could see Krosis strapped to a post as a roaring fire started to consume her. Her screams echoed through his head as he watched her burn, nothing he could do could stop what was happening before him._

" _Why do you torture Cicero like this?! Even a crazed Jester like me knows how wrong this is!" pausing he realized what he had just said. Something normal, something sane._

" _ **You're not as crazed as you thought you were, deep down you wish you were normal again. Don't you?"**_

 _Cicero closed his eyes thinking back to time he was normal, back when his brotherhood was the only brotherhood he knew. How he so missed everyone that was lost._

" _Cicero misses his old self, but there is no need to change who I have become. being normal in my dreams is fine. There is no need for it when in the waking world. Vaermina frowned at the answer she got at the small Jester, she shrieked towards him when the world around them started to shake._

"Cicero!" _a familiar voice came through the darkness._

"Cicero wake the hell up!" _Krosis?_

His eyes shot open he turned around quickly staring in the face of a strange masked person before him. He instantly jumped up pulling his ebony dagger from his side.

"Who are you?! how did you even get in here!" a deep sigh came from the person, they reached up unclicking the back of the mask, Cicero's fist tightened around the dagger as the mysterious person pulled the mask down. Instantly he dropped the dagger, falling to his knees the tears were on the verge of falling down his face.

"Krosis?" his voice was small, she almost missed what he had said. She walked around to the side of the bed he was on, Cicero instantly wrapped his arms around her waist as she stood before him.

"Did you miss me that much?" he buried his face into her stomach.

"Don't ever leave me again." with that he pushed her down onto the bed.

" Cicero _needs_ you…"


End file.
